Forgiveness

Occasions for forgiveness keep appearing over the course of one's life time. Even if you feel you've forgiven someone from your past for something they did to you, various circumstances or events will sometimes trigger and re-open old wounds. And the need to forgive those people, once again, becomes necessary. I've recently experienced this within my own family. When I was a kid, my father had a rather explosive Irish temperment. If one did not agree with him, there was lots of pounding on the table and finger pointing and shouting! So, my defense mechanism was to keep my opinions to myself. With the upcoming elections, my family (who is spread all over the country) has started a "family blog" where we communicate frequently about our feelings and opinions regarding the presidential candidates. The tone of many of the blogs is fun and lighthearted, but, lately, the tone has turned nasty! Especially when those who are republican are differing from those who are democratic...and vice -versa. I have often felt attacked in these instances and have found myself feeling very much like a 12 year old girl again...one that stifles her voice to avoid the hurt and put downs that often came my way. The girl that didn't feel that she mattered at all. Now, as a 53 year old woman, I am astounded that I can still feel that pain and anger so strongly.

So, once again, I have found myself with the need to forgive my father even though he has been gone now for almost 3 years. We may be able to forgive, but I am not sure we are able to totally forget.
I am grateful and thankful that I have been able to recognize this and to move through the forgiveness process much quicker than I could 20 years ago. I hurt no one but myself by holding onto old pain and wounds and bitterness.